small things, slow days
I wasn't sure was I in a good mood or in a bad mood, but I know this is the first time I wasn't holding myself in control. And then, Booooom! Explosions. Sometimes I wonder, how did I from this 'drinking is a sin' guy become a 'drinking is necessary' guy. A real hang-over, a real memory lost. I actually tried to remember what I've did.
I wasn't sure was I in a relief or in a grief, but I know this is the first time I dug out what was buried deep down and turned it inside-out. So I exploded. Big ones. I though I've put things away months ago. Out of nowhere it just came out and rage is all over my mind.
That's how I realize I lived in slow days. I grow up slow, I fall in love slow, I get out slow. I'm in my thirty-something and I still live like a twenty-something.
Some people once gave me the advice, but sadly, one advice came too early I didn't care to take in, another one came too late by the time I've already swallowed the bitterness consequences.
That's how I realize I'm truly a post-rock kind of guy. I decomposes myself to someone I don't even know and then explodes.
People are always easy to see and accuse what others did wrong, but hardly to see them self doing wrong, even though that's was the same mistake.
I was too urged to get out of the pain, and start to feel the rage long after that.
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